Catherine's 40th

Saturday 23 July was the day of daughter Catherine's 40th birthday. We celebrated it in style, starting with lunch at Bistro Bruno Loubet at the Zetter Hotel on Clerkenwell Road. Who says the English don't do food? The food here was extraordinarily good, even as good or maybe better than the best one finds in New Zealand (high praise indeed). The evening was spent at Café du Marche, also in Clerkenwell, the part of London where Catherine lives. She had booked the entire top floor, for her 24 guests, who were treated to Champagne and canapes followed by an extraordinary three course meal. The Portuguese Maitre de claimed that the steak was the best in London, and I have to say, having chosen that option, I have no reason to doubt him.

Catherine suggested "urban glamour" as suitable attire. Miang joined Catherine for hair styling in the afternoon and you may judge here whether the result was worth the salon's efforts. I have to say that Catherine looked rather chic in her long dress (the massive gold bracelet was our gift). Chris and I (he with the green tie and me the Kia Kaha) opted for the conservative, namely the smart suit. But I have to confess, all attending looked pretty good.

I could not resist the chance to speak, the opportunity to tell stories of Catherine's beginnings to her astonished London friends and colleagues was not to be wasted. But it was also a chance to speak a little more seriously of what both Catherine and Chris, and in his case his lovely wife Hiva and their Children, James and Thomas, mean to my life and to Miang's.

Most of us left by about 12-30 am, but a hardy few, including Catherine, partied on for a while. Next morning it was Catherine's job to open all the wonderful presents brought by friends the night before.

It was a brilliant occasion. Everyone present had a wonderful time. Miang and I felt so fortunate to be able to take part.

On Sunday we headed back to Cambridge, with another visit to the grandchildren and then a meal at Trinity High Table in the evening. I have still not quite mastered the rituals, when to stand, in which direction to file out. Miang and I sat with Lord Rees, the Master, a charming man, another brilliant physicist in the history of brilliant Trinity physicists.
I do like sitting with Rutherford's portrait overlooking the table, knowing that he must have been seated many times, in the same spot at dinner. And for that matter, so of course had Isaac Newton, James Clerk Maxwell, John Joseph Thompson, Byron, Tennyson, Wittgenstein and Huxley. Such is Trinity College.

Treatment in the UK

Cancer is a time consuming and expensive hobby, especially when travelling. I have inflicted part of the problem on myself, with my decision to undertake some medical experimentation of my own. Given the positive response of my CEA following a three week course of intravenous vitamin C coupled with traditional Chinese herbal medicine, I was condemned to find a way to continue this "treatment" now that I am in the UK.

In my first few days here I had to find a GP who would provide me with intravenous vitamin C, and a Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) practitioner who could provide me with a continuation of the herbal magic previously obtained from the Ngee Ann clinic in Singapore. After much web searching and persistent telephoning, I finally found a clinic in London which could provide the former. Dr Rodney Adeniyi-Jones is indeed probably the only such GP in London, and one of just a handful in the UK. Wellington by contrast has two such GPs. Dr Adeniyi-Jones is a thoughtful and intelligent man who persuaded me, after some discussion, to stay with 75 g doses once per week, rather than the 100 g maximum I had taken in Wellington (the latter, I have to say, with some spectacular side effects, in non-linear excess of that expected for a 1/3 increase in dose), and I have travelled to London twice for this treatment, the second being on Monday, at which time I had a blood sample taken for CEA measurement. The result was 17.2 ng/ml, a small increase, but clearly showing that the three-week doubling of May and early June has been arrested.

And so I hover on a plateau. Will the cancer recede or rage? Why has the CEA gone slightly up rather than consolidating a downward trend? For the last three weeks I have not had access to the TCM herbal formula, since I was able to obtain only a two week supply from Ngee Ann. On Monday morning I travelled to Cheam in southwest London to consult with Professor Bo-Ying Ma, one of the leading TCM practitioners in the UK. He informed me that many of the ingredients from my Ngee Ann recipe were not available in the UK because of import restrictions. He prescribed instead a herbal extract capsule treatment obtained from China before the restriction came into effect. I have started that as of yesterday.

In fact I feel remarkably well. In three weeks time I will take another test. Let's see what that says. I must say, I greatly prefer it when experiments show definitive answers. These latest can best be described as "possibly interesting."

PS: I am grateful to my good friend Yang Xia and his London-based cousin Ze Xia, for putting me in touch with Professor Ma. Bo-Ying Ma is a delightful man with a fascinating background, trained in scientific medicine, and then sent, during the cultural revolution, to a remote village where medical resources were non-existent, and where he learned how to treat using TCM. Later, Ma worked with the legendary Joseph Needham the "Man who loved China", a great British scientist, historian and sinologist based at Gonville and Caius College, Cambridge, where an Institute is named after him. Professor Ma proudly displayed a photo of him and Needham on his surgery wall. I was suitably impressed.

An appointment at Oxford University Press

On Tuesday last week, Miang and I made a special journey to Oxford. My first experience of this place was as a new graduate student in 1970 as shown in the matriculation picture attached. The latest photo shows that I have aged somewhat.

The primary reason for my visit was to call on Oxford University Press, who had, for some inexplicable reason, failed to meet the June publication date for my book. But it was also a chance to catch up with Oxford friends Milo and Irina Shott, and with previous graduate students, Daniel Corbett, Sasha Khrapitchev and Ed Crossland, all of whom are postdoctoral fellows at Oxford University. The photo shows Daniel, Sasha and Ed at lunch in the Lamb and Flag pub in St Giles. Afterwards, Daniel and Sasha joined Miang and me for a walk back across the University Parks to Wolfson College where both are Research Fellows. This was a walk I had done hundreds of times when I was a graduate student and then Junior Research Fellow, at Wolfson, from 1970 to 1974. Little had changed.

My copy-edited book files were returned to OUP for the generation of proofs, back on 15 March. These days, authors like me do all the work that used to be carried out by typesetters, by writing our book in a source code language known as LaTeX, using a style file that automatically generates exactly the layout required by the publisher. All equations are beautifully set, diagrams placed correctly, and even the publishers logo appears in the right place. For the publisher to produce proofs simply involves taking the LaTeX sources files and eps diagram files and running them through a standard programme, a process requiring possibly ten seconds.

Why then had I received no proofs by July 5, the date of my departure from New Zealand, and one month after publication date? The answer lies in "widow and orphan lines". These are the lines of text that appear all alone on a new page and which, by a manual instruction in the source code, can be manipulated to join their companions. That is the final step, and it is one I delegated to OUP, since I believed that this simple step deserved some publisher input. In all, I estimated widow and orphan line fixing to be maybe one or two hours work. What I had not counted on were the exceptional qualities of the the production manager allocated to my book, a man whose name I must necessarily protect and one who has since mysteriously "left the employ of the Press". This fellow was, to my misfortune, exceptionally polite and pleasant in his communications, but kept informing me of unforeseen problems which were on the cusp of solution, and which would result in proofs being sent within the week. After about six weeks I became suspicious. Then began a flurry of enquiries, which eventually involved more senior staff plumbing the black hole into which my book had apparently fallen. The subsequent demise of my production manager appeared to be coincident on my saying "I am coming to the UK to sort this matter out".

Of course you, dear reader, will realise that there were other reasons for my coming to the UK. But I hope you will forgive my crime in not making clear these other reasons to the fine people in Great Clarendon Street, the home of the world's greatest publishing house, the source of definitive dictionaries, Bibles, "The Principles of Nuclear Magnetic Resonance Microscopy", and who knows, maybe one day "Translational Dynamics and Magnetic Resonance".

I have no clear idea why I might be smiling in the photograph. Perhaps it is a smile of relief, having met the new production manager, a highly competent and pleasant young woman called Emma, whose apologies knew no bounds, and who promised to have me my proofs within 24 hours. Indeed, I have now seen them. They are exceedingly pretty, and the book will be now published, 3 months late, in September.

Adventures with grandchildren

The first 10 days here have seen us in a whirl of activity, organising bicycles, cellphones, London medical treatments and other necessities of life.

Our first excursion with the grandchildren was to Wimpole Hall (Grandad and James on tractor and Grandad holding Thomas in the garden)

Then, on Sunday 10 July, it was the Duxford airshow. This we did in style, Chris having purchased a "Gold Pass" which gave us free access to a number of displays, as well as seats, and lunch, in a special viewing enclosure. Both Chris and I did our best to infect James with our admiration for the aircraft. I think we certainly made some headway with the Chance-Vought F4U Corsairs (with folded wings). I had the thrill of seeing Spitfires, Hurricanes and ME109's, all of which took to the air in a flying display. There is nothing like the sound of a Rolls Royce Merlin engine, or better still, six Rolls Royce Merlins all at once, to bring tears to the eye.

Duxford was also a chance to catch up with Chris's longtime friend, Kent Roach, and his Dad, Arthur, who as it turned out, attended Wanganui Technical College about 5 years before me.

The outing to Duxford was assisted by Miang who stayed at home to look after baby Thomas, his Mum Hiva being away in the US on a week-long attachment to NIH in Bethesda.

I have managed, after some considerable effort, to find a clinic in London to give intravenous vitamin C treatment and had my first infusion last Monday. I head down to London for another treatment tomorrow. Meanwhile, trips to London have given Miang and me the chance to catch up with Catherine. On Friday night we dined with her at the Anchor and Hope pub, then headed round the corner to the Old Vic Theatre to watch Kevin Spacey in action as Richard III. His performance was electrifying, and I have to say it was the most riveting Shakespeare I have seen in a long while. The audience spontaneously rose to its feet in wild applause at the end, something that London theatre-goers seldom do.

While in London we joined Catherine at her Temple Chambers (Blackstone), met some of her barrister colleagues, and got this picture taken of the three of us outside the Royal Courts of Justice, just a short walk from Catherine's office.

Trinity College Cambridge

Miang and I are now in Cambridge, living in a Trinity College flat on Bridge Street. Its an old half-timbered Tudor building. We are on the first and second floors above the shops. The interior is delightful, with sloping floors and beams at every angle. It is beautifully appointed with all the modern essentials.

Daughter Catherine met us at Heathrow yesterday afternoon and drove us to Cambridge. Top priority, after sampling ale again following a two year drought, was to go and visit Chris, Hiva and the children, James (3 yrs 9 months), and Thomas (9 months). Next priority was the essential purchase of a bicycle. Already Miang has explored the market.

This afternoon I took James to a local park to do some water-rocket launching. This is a system I have borrowed from the 100 level teaching laboratory at VUW. Its liftoff to a maximum height of around 50 metres is so fast that James couldn't keep track of it, until he managed to glimpse it in the final descent phase. Here you see him running back following retrieval, ready for the next launch.

It is wonderful to be back in summer, and to be in this beautiful town again. My project here requires me to read and write. I cannot think of a more pleasant environment in which to indulge in these activities.

Another entertaining week

On Tuesday next week, Miang and I leave New Zealand for a couple of months. We will be based in Cambridge UK. Our departure comes after a hectic flurry of activity, which culminated in a dinner at Government House last night, at which Andrew Coy was honoured with a Blake Emerging Leader award. The picture shows Andrew, his wife Mel, and me (wearing my 2007 Blake medal). In the NZ Herald story this morning, the report read
"A technology explorer of sorts, Magritek CEO Andrew Coy is turning a "physics phenomenon" into a successful business product.
Earlier this week I addressed the "Peter Cullen breakfast", at which Wellington movers and shakers turn up to be entertained at 7-30 am. On Wednesday I flew to Gisborne for the day, to address business and community leaders at a forum run by the Eastland Community Trust. Thursday brought addresses to the Economic Development Conference in Wellington and then Federated Farmers in Rotorua in the afternoon, after which I flew to Auckland to overnight before a TVNZ studio interview early Friday morning. By lunchtime I was back in Wellington to join Miang at a special lunch organised by Wendy McGuinness, at which I was given the task of setting out some of my ideas over lunch so that the 16 or so guests could engage in a wide-ranging discussion about New Zealand's future. Wendy is probably New Zealand's "most connected" person and the people she had managed to assemble were all extraordinary achievers. Amongst this group were Jeremy Moon, the founder and CEO of "Icebreaker", Lloyd Morrison of Infratil, and Fran Wilde, chair of the Wellington Regional Council. Needless to say, the exchanges were stimulating and insightful. One of the big issues was whether New Zealanders are just too gloomy and pessimistic to buy in to the sort of change we seek. Wendy asked me for comment afterwards. and my response was:

"We simply push on, ignore the pessimism, and lead by example. Then suddenly we find ourselves surrounded by success and telling ourselves that it was always meant to be this way. We often do not notice the dramatic changes that are taking place when we are in the heat of the battle. It is only afterwards that we see predestination."

Today, is time to pack. But I do want to finish this posting with a delightful image, one from my childhood, and sent to me by Chris Clark, whose persistence in the National Archives has paid off. Take yourself back to the 1950's, with the influence of the war still apparent. Bertie Germ was rampant and needed sorting. Fruit and vegetables were the weapon of choice.

Thinking the unthinkable

A drop. Yes, I will repeat that. My CEA has dropped. In four weeks it has gone from 16.6 ng/ml to 14.9 ng/ml. This is not supposed to happen. I was on a rapid rise with growing and radiology-evident tumours. OK. Let's deconstruct this.

First, my previous reading showed a rise that was less than I had expected, from 14.3 to 16.6. So that's the first intriguing phenomenon. And what did I start doing at 14.3? I returned each morning to "Uncle CC's famous vegetable juice" (potato, carrot, cucumber, tomato, green apple, celery and barley green). Note that back at day 400, when I began Uncle CC's remedy in response to my then rapid CEA rise (a 4 week-doubling period) in 2010, the rate of rise fell back to a noticeably lower rate, just as seen in my latest May 2011 response.

So what of this latest drop? Now my embarrassment is extreme, because, dear reader, as I mentioned one month ago, I have used my holiday from scientific medicine to carry out a personal experiment. I said then that I would use a two-pronged strategy, at the risk that if a positive response resulted, then I would not know the source of that success. And I promised then that "details will follow that may amuse you as much as they do me." Now, I think it is the time to confess all.

I have been taking massive doses of intravenous vitamin C, at 100 grams per infusion. I have had about 6 treatments, over a four week period, stepping the dose up from 25 grams, though 50, 75 to 100. I urinate incessantly for several hours following, but the biological half-life of vitamin C is around 3 hours, so that the next day I return to normal. And, for two weeks, following my return from Singapore, I have taken a chinese herbal medicine prescribed by the Ngee Ann chinese medical centre in Singapore.

Am I mad? Probably. I took the vitamin C, partly because my good friend Pablo Etchegoin has done so for 14 months and defied his oncologist's prognosis, and partly because one of the most brilliant scientists I know, immunologist Graham LeGros, suggested to me that vitamin C might potentially "provoke the immune system" to my advantage. And, I took Chinese herbal medicine, because my comrade and mentor, Uncle CC, swears by it.

So there it is. Is this science? Not really. You can't base a treatment regime on n=1. But being that particular n=1, I could say "well it works for me". But even that may be stretching credibility. My data so far suggests a correlation between my CEA reading and the treatment regime. Of course, it may all be a coincidence. It may be the TaiChi (I have now mastered the 32 form). It may be the public speaking I am doing. It may be the Chilean volcano.

I am not entirely a fool. Next month it might all change. My CEA may start galloping upwards, despite gorging my veins with "all the vitamin C in China." And then again, it might just keep dropping.

It seems as if I am condemned to continue my strange experiment for a while yet. Ah well, as I said once before on this subject, "It's better than a kick in the pants."

Fun In Parliament

A nine minute exchange took place in Parliament last week when the opposition spokesman on science, David Shearer, asked the Minister of Science and Innovation, Wayne Mapp, "Does he agree with Paul Callaghan's statement on science and innovation, 'it's clear that the Minister of Finance and the Prime Minister have not really seen this as a top priority'"?

What David didn't read was the full quote from my Radio Live interview, namely, "I think Wayne Mapp has done a fabulous job as Minister of Science and Innovation and he's really on board with this, but it's clear that the Minister of Finance and the Prime Minister have not really seen this as a top priority".

In the debate, Wayne Mapp tries to read out the full quote but is stopped from doing so by the Speaker of the House, Lockwood Smith. You can tell from the good natured jesting that goes on in the various points of order that Science is not a terribly partisan issue in New Zealand politics. It is also clear that Wayne was himself disappointed by his lack of success in getting more funds for science this year. Watch the active facial muscles of the woman to the left of Wayne, Paula Bennett, Minister of Social Development, a person who is unlikely to have ever had a single thought about science and innovation.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIQqSBoBBdA

My favourite primary school teacher

Last year I wrote about Diana Beaglehole, who, when I had her as my Standard Four teacher at age 10, was the gorgeous Diana Flower. Today, Diana and I went for lunch together at "Milk and Honey", the university restaurant, and then we visited my lab, as the picture suggests. Over lunch we had a great opportunity to catch up on the subject of Wanganui characters and legends from primary school, as well as the state of the world, a matter on which Diana, an historian, converses fluently.

Most remarkably Diana gave me a photograph which I reproduce below. With her box Brownie she had captured a moment in the life of her 1958 Standard Four class. The little boy in the middle left, holding the pencil so carefully in his right hand, is me. On the far right, with her hair parted in the middle, is my first love, Dallas Caldwell. But the best part of this photo is not, I think, the children at work. It is the wonderful wall postings, a tribute to Diana's imaginative teaching. Above my head is the obligatory 1950s public health poster with the message "Guard your natural teeth-they are best!"

PhD student number 23 successfully defends

Yesterday, Lauren Burcaw successfully defended her PhD thesis, "Multi-dimensional nuclear magnetic resonance methods in the inhomogeneous magnetic field". Her external examiners were Mark Conradi (University of Washington, St Louis) and Pat Langhorne (Otago University). Here she is with partner Rob at the post oral celebration in the quirky Wellington bar, Hashigo Zake. Lauren came to us from Penn State University where she completed her first degree in physics, before spending some time working at Schlumberger-Doll research.

Lauren and Rob are heading back to the US soon where Rob will work as an engineer and Lauren will take a job as an MRI physicist.

Lauren is my 23rd PhD student. Next to defend his thesis is Brad Douglass, student number 24. His thesis is with the examiners and we expect to have the oral in September after I get back from the UK.

PS: Lauren's completion has special significance for me. On Thursday 27 November, 2008, Lauren gave her 1st year PhD seminar to the School of Chemical and Physical Sciences. I was supposed to introduce her and chair the seminar. That morning I had experienced abdominal pain and stayed in bed, completely forgetting my obligation. At around 11-30 am Mark Hunter rang to remind me. I got out of bed and drove in, arriving just on the dot of 12 noon. By this stage the pain was severe. I managed to complete my task, then I drove home in a dazed state, hardly believing how painful my abdomen was. At 5-30 pm Miang arrived home and insisted she take me to the emergency doctor in Newtown who immediately diagnosed a bowel blockage. By 7 pm I was at the Accident and Emergency Department. By Friday morning my bowel tumour had been discovered. On the morning of Saturday 29 November, I underwent emergency surgery. So began my adventure with cancer.

Has the country gone mad?

The latest Reader's Digest list of "Most trusted New Zealanders" is out, and shock, horror, the top three are scientists. Apparently the methodology is to sample ~ 750 people, giving them a list of names and asking them first, if they have some familiarity with the person and then, second, how they rank them in terms of trustworthiness. The PM had 97% recognition (my goodness, that means 3 % of us hadn't heard of him), and the three scientists had 35 % recognition. Only the "recognising" respondents' answers are counted and then the rating is done pro rata.

So there you are. If you believe this sort of nonsense, I am the third most trusted New Zealander. Ray Avery, the most trusted, is a legendary fellow, a philanthropist as well as a successful science entrepreneur. Both he and Peter Gluckman are friends of mine. The media are shocked by this outcome and the science community is delighted but stunned. What the hell is going on in this country?

For TVNZ coverage see
http://tvnz.co.nz/national-news/scientists-top-most-trusted-list-4247442/video?vid=4247440

For newspapers
http://www.stuff.co.nz/dominion-post/news/5166502/Who-are-New-Zealands-most-trusted-people
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10733460

For Science Media reaction
http://sciblogs.co.nz/molecular-matters/2011/06/20/woohoo-the-most-trusted-new-zealanders/

I'm sorry, I just have to share this

I want to use my time well. The New Zealander of the year status has given me a platform by which I can communicate effectively around the issue of New Zealand's future. At the moment I'm in a whirlwind of speaking engagements in which I deliver the 20 minute YouTube presentation, expanded as appropriate to the audience. The YouTube video has now had over 8000 views, mostly in New Zealand of course, and so I have already reached 0.2% of our population that way. But the really important point is the nature of the audiences. I am only accepting invitations to speak to opinion leaders. Yesterday it was, in three separate events, the senior management of IBM New Zealand, the top team at AJ Park Intellectual Property Lawyers and the Green Party caucus in Parliament. Today it was the Nelson regional economic development agency and the Chamber of Commerce, and next Monday it is the equivalent group in the Bay of Plenty.

I am getting great feedback. But most interesting to me was the outcome of the talk given to young "20-something" leaders identified by the Victoria International Leadership Programme. They volunteered their thoughts anonymously in writing to the Programme organisers who passed them on to me. I reproduce a representative selection below, simply to explain my motivation for continue doing this for a little while longer.

"I was unsure about booking in for this seminar and to be honest, wasn't particularly looking forward to it. However I have to say that it has been the most interesting and engaging seminar as of yet. I was concerned about Paul Callaghan's strong science focus, as obviously I have never taken a huge interest and am not studying it. Instead I found his life experience and passion for what he does to be inspiring. He made me think about where I am in my life at this point. Having spent pretty much all my life in New Zealand, I have only ever been influenced by the New Zealand culture, politics and outlook on life. After this seminar, I now look forward to my exchange for an entirely new reason. Now I look forward to meeting people and being a part of a culture that has a totally different outlook on education, way of life and what their country does for them. I'm not sure about where I will end up settling down in life. But Paul made me think more about bringing back other aspects of the world to New Zealand and inspiring others. "

"Not many lectures have ever made me truly think. In my academic career, I have never left a lecture and thought about it, at length, for a period of time. The lecture given by Sir Paul Callaghan was captivating, and I think one of the most surprising that I have listened to during my experience with the VILP. Once I had left the lecture theatre, I was quite dumbstruck. Even as I thanked Paul for his lecture, I could not think of anything intelligent or interesting to remark to him. Nothing. I walked home in silence, sat down with a cup of tea, and continued to think, until I began writing this reflection.

Initially I was quite surprised that his topic of conversation surpassed science, moving to philosophy, economics, politics and society. Despite the breadth of his lecture, he held the audience, who draw from all academic backgrounds, and it was possible to tell how well he had lectured through the quality of the questions given to him.

He titled the lecture: ‘Challenging common sense: New Zealand and its prospects’. This perfectly defined the topic of the lecture he gave, and made me think extremely carefully about my own views on the future of New Zealand, and its position in this competitive globalised world. His initial comments were quite pessimistic, discussing how tourism employment not only ‘dumbs-down’ the population, but reduces GDP through the reduction in revenue per employee compared to high-tech employment. But, he continued to discuss the country's position as one that is required to fill niches in the global markets – as 0.2% of the world’s population, it’s role is not to produce mass goods for the mass market, it is to fill niches left by other multinational firms. He discussed the need for entrepreneurship, innovation and education, and in my opinion, really inspired the room to consider his thoughts on the need for brilliant businessmen to excel the economy of New Zealand.

It is almost impossible for me to describe, on paper, how the lecture really made me feel. Optimistic. Pessimistic. Thoughtful. Understanding. These words go no-where near. The lecture have an incredible insight into Paul's work, both in the private and public sector, and I hope for the sake of the VILP he speaks again."

"This was one of the best seminars that I have ever attended by far, even beyond VILP. Sir Paul Callaghan is an exceptional man who offers a refreshing and invigorating insight into the future of New Zealand. Interestingly enough, “refreshing” is exactly the word Paul used to describe the ideal characteristic of an effective leader; one who is capable of challenging the status quo and one who can effect change.

Paul’s presentation encouraged me to reconsider many perceptions that New Zealanders hold about their own people and nation, most often without even questioning the evidence behind these “myths”. This made me realise that certain ideas about the state of our economy, our image and our future are not necessarily as they seem. This concept of refusing to accept things on their face value was another important philosophy on which Paul focused.

Rather than simply accepting that New Zealand is only good for dairying, that tourism is the future of New Zealand, or that we have no chance competing in the international market, Paul encouraged me to see the flaws in these arguments by examining the data and real evidence that clearly negates these perceptions.

Paul really stimulated the patriotism in my mind and heart that I really didn’t know was so strong. He made me see that the compact size of our nation really can work in our favour sometimes, but it does require a vision, and more importantly a passion. Paul reinforced the idea that there is a huge future for New Zealand, and recognised New Zealand’s ability to become a sustainable and thriving economy. He made me realise, however, that becoming more successful as a nation requires refreshing, passionate, articulate and inspiring leaders; people who are entrepreneurial and capable of taking a “contrarian perspective” to the status quo. These insights have enabled me to examine my own perception of what makes an effective leader, and to think about how I can incorporate these ideas into my own practice as a future leader.

Before this seminar, I was completely unaware of the fundamental importance of science in New Zealand, but having left this evening, I now have a much better understanding of the quality of New Zealand’s knowledge economy. I truly believe Sir Paul Callaghan’s conviction that New Zealand can and will become a thriving economy, despite our recent setbacks. All it will take is the commitment and risk-taking of our future leaders.

Sir Paul Callaghan is an incredibly interesting and passionate man who makes me proud to be a New Zealander. I feel extremely privileged to have been able to attend this seminar and I highly recommend it to anyone should they get the opportunity to hear him speak in the future."

An unusual experiment

Just before I left for Singapore and Malaysia, I had a PET-CT scan, my 5th in two years. A clear "18-F Glucose avid" bright spot was apparent on the right anterior wall of the upper abdominal cavity, unambiguoulsy indicating a 1.4 cm tumour confirmed in the CT scan. There was also a suspicious 0.7 cm diameter dark spot in the lower right lung lobe, apparent in the CT, but not in the PET. This could also be a tumour. My latest CEA had risen again, this time to 16.6 ng/ml. It is clear that the cancer has indeed returned.

A number of options were discussed with my Wellington oncologist, Andy Simpson, given the limited drug strategies available. In short, all that is left, for FDA approved treatments, is the Avastin-irinotecan-capecitabine regime which had some effect in 2010. We are hopeful that this may provide some respite (it cannot cure) at some time in the future, provided that my cancer cells have not evolved to be immune to these drugs. The question is "when does one hit the cancer?" In metastatic disease, where management rather than a cure is sought, it is not necessarily obvious that one hits early. And so, we have settled on a "wait and see" period, allowing me to travel to the UK in early July to spend time with my family there. Miang and I had originally planned to return in late October. However, a more likely target might be late August, allowing me to begin treatment on my return.

Andy is very wise and welcomes other opinions. Indeed he sought that of Richard Isaacs, my Palmerston North private oncologist, who supported the "wait and see" strategy. I did my own second consultation with a top Johns Hopkins oncologist at their Singapore international centre. He concurred, and indeed could not fault the entire treatment strategy to date.

There is a hopeful scenario, one so optimistic as to stretch the limits of credulity, and it goes something like this. The lung spot is an artifact, perhaps a fungal infection. The upper abdominal tumour is the sole tumour left after the peritonectomy. And over the next few months that tumour may grow locally but doesn't spread. Now, if you believe all that you are probably someone who buys lottery tickets in the hope of a win. But suppose, for the sake of it, we win that lottery. Then surgical excision removes the last remaining cancer and I am cured.

OK, let's take a reality check at this point! I have had metastatic cancer and, despite the brilliance of the peritonectomy surgeons, it is most likely that in addition to my singular evident tumour, cancer cells lurk in multiple sites in anticipation of future multiplication and angiogenesis. In that much more likely scenario I am fighting blind, hoping that my own immune system might finally wake up, despite previous failure, and surprise us all. Is there just a chance that I could give it a little help?

So what are my strengths at this phase of the contest? First, in ignorance of the scientific data, I would appear to be in rude good health. Second, I have a supreme intelligence tool, a simple, immediate and highly sensitive indicator of the presence of the cancer cells, that of the perfect-track-record CEA blood test. Third, I have a lull in the application of scientific medicine weapons during which I might try out some unproven but interesting devices. Let me be clear, I do not deviate one step from my trust in evidence-based medicine. There are only two types of medicines-those that work and those that do not, and double-blind randomized placebo-controlled trials on multiple patient cohorts can provide the definitive evidence that gives us confidence as to which class a proposed treatment belongs. Thus fails homeopathy and its soul mates.

But I am not a randomised cohort. I am Paul Callaghan, EYD7212, and I get one chance at life. And I am a scientist with my own experimental tools relevant only to me. So I can try an experiment on myself. Is there a potential drug which has some plausible physical basis of action, where safe doses are known, and whose side-effects are minimally invasive of life quality? Because if there is such a drug, why would I not try it during my chemotherapy lull, given that I have a surefire test of its efficacy?

There are two, maybe three, and ideally I would try them separately, but given my limited time window, I will try a couple simultaneously, the obvious downside being that if their combination is effective, I shall never know the true source of my salvation. But that is a downside that I, being the "n=1" that I am, will be prepared to live with, if you will excuse the pun.

I am now undertaking that experiment. Details will follow that may amuse you as much as they do me.

Malaysia and Singapore

For the past week, Miang and I have been in Malaysia and Singapore visiting family and friends. This is my fifth time in South East Asia and it is always a stunning experience being plunged into a completely different world, different from New Zealand obviously, but also enormously different within itself as I am always aware when crossing the causeway from Singapore to Johor.

After a night in Singapore with Miang's half brother Miang Wei, we were driven over to her Malaysian home village of Renggam where her stepmother lives with Miang's half sister Miang Hong. If you are by now confused, let me remind you that all of Miang's siblings are named Miang, and she should properly be named Miang Hoong, not to be confused with her Renggam half-sister, Miang Hong, nor while I'm at it, one of her brothers, Miang Hiong. Of course her family call her Miang Hoong, or in the case of her younger full brother, Miang Chiang, as "Sis Hoong". Miang Chiang is known to the family as "MC", in that most efficient of Chinese customs, reducing names of the truly famous to a minimalist acronym (KL for Kuala Lumpur, JB for Johor Baru, and so on).

While in Renggam we commemorated the third anniversary of Miang's father's death. This we did through a simple indoor ceremony with joss-sticks at the shrine inside the family home, and then by burning various items of value to her Dad in the street outside. Those items included paper money (of the Monopoly variety) and, burnable cans of her father's favourite beer, Carlsberg. Yes, only in Asia can you buy burnable beer cans for such purposes!

On this visit, with Miang's other half sister, Miang Key and her husband Daniel occupying the spare room in the Renggam house, we stayed in the nearby town of Kluang, taking the opportunity to climb up part of the nearby Mountain of Gunung Lambak. It was also a chance to do a little shopping, to have our eyes tested and to buy two pairs of fashionable glasses with graduated lenses, all for the princely sum of NZ$350! Of course we ate "a la famille" lunches and evening meals of such irresistible tastiness that we both added 2 kg over our week away.

Miang's brother, Miang Hiong, known to us all as William, is a leader of early morning Qigong and TaiChi exercises in a local Kluang park. We were up at 6 am to join him in the darkness before dawn. In his Qigong moves, William takes on a whole new persona of graceful leadership, with the large crowd of participants doing their best to follow his every move. Miang is the shadowy figure on the right in this video.

After Kluang we travelled back down the peninsula to Kulai to take part in an informal reunion, a chance for me to meet Miang's school classmates, and then to MC's in Johor Baru for a night before crossing back over the causeway to Singapore, where we were hosted by Uncle CC and Auntie June. Of course, this was an occasion for more feasting, the picture showing from left to right Uncle Hew, Auntie Peak Chu, nephew Kelvin, MC, Auntie June, Uncle CC and yours truly.

And no evening in Singapore is now complete without a visit to the just finished Marina, with the glittering Casinos and Sands Hotel across the water, complemented by the Lotus-like shape of the new Science Museum. Singapore is truly staggering, a city state of no natural resources with a per capita GDP of US$36,000 per annum. I spent my plane journey back home reading a 2011 book of interviews with the architect of Singapore's rise, Lee Kuan Yew. To quote "What makes a country grow is talent. We must attract and retain talent. Then we have vibrancy. How do we compete with Chinese and Indians where we know they are going to enter in a big way? We succeed by staying in little niches, securing qualities which they cannot match, like credibility, reliability, intellectual property and the rule of law."

Now where have I heard that before?

Gorgeous Grandsons

I cannot help but be the proud grandad in publishing these two videos of Thomas (7 months) and James (3 years and 7 months) respectively bouncing and scooting. The voiceover is from their lovely mum Hiva. My hope is to get to the UK in early July to spend some time with these boys, their parents, and their aunt, Catherine.

How's that for fast?

On Saturday I gave a keynote address to the New Zealand Labour Party conference. The picture suggests a receiving of the holy spirit in an act of rapture. Despite this being the "day of the apocalypse", I am in fact gesturing to indicate that the world economy is 500 times bigger than our own. Having berated the centre left and centre right for lack-lustre commitment to government investment in science and innovation, I was followed on the next day of the conference by Party Leader Phil Goff promising, if elected, to commit an extra $160 million per annum (~0.1 % of GDP) to the R&D sector, to be paid for by including agriculture in the Emissions Trading Scheme. Of course, it's a long way between making a promise in opposition and being able to act as government, but the Labour Party proposal now puts serious heat on the government, which has, despite announcing its budget last week, come up with no ideas whatsoever for economic growth.

http://www.stuff.co.nz/business/5037261/Innovation-needed-to-boost-economy

http://www.nzherald.co.nz/business/news/article.cfm?c_id=3&objectid=10727326

The cancer is back

I haven't said much about the state of my health recently. About 6 weeks ago I was alerted to a sudden change when my CEA reading leapt from the previous plateau of 5.2 ng/ml to 9.3 ng/ml over a three week period. I had no doubt at the time that this was real and probably indicated that some residual cancer cells had gone through angiogenesis to get their own blood supply enroute to becoming tumours. After discussing the matter with my oncologist we decided to wait another two weeks for a second reading, and in the meantime consult with the Sydney team of David Morris and Winston Liau.

That second reading, which I obtained last week, showed another rise to 14.3 ng/ml. You can see from the graph that the exponential growth represents a doubling period of three weeks, as fast as I have experienced during the rapid tumour growth phase of 2009.

My options are now somewhat limited. Given the early return of the disease, further peritonectomy/HIPEC surgery is not advised due to a likely poor prognosis. The full range of FDA-approved chemotherapy drugs shown to be effective in colorectal cancer, I have already sampled, namely Oxaliplatin, Capecitabine, Irinotecan and Avastin. The remaining drugs, Cetuximab and Panitumumab are only effective for KRAS gene wildtype (60% of the population), and sadly, I am mutant (40% of the population).

If the disease progresses at this rate, and based on experience in 2009/2010, I will have cm size tumours in a matter of 6 weeks, just about the time I had planned to fly with Miang to the UK to begin a 3 month sabbatical. Clearly we have some major issues to grapple with.

Next week I will have another PET-CT scan. If we can locate the site or sites of the tumour the potential for resection will be considered, a possibility, for example, if there were a single tumour acting as the source of the rising CEA. I have to say that this seems unlikely.

Interestingly, the rise in CEA started 3 weeks upon cessation of Capecitabine adjuvant chemotherapy. I could go back on to Capecitabine soon, or I could try hitting the cancer with the triple cocktail of Avastin/Irinotecan/Capecitabine, which caused a dramatic reduction to a plateau of 8 ng/ml, during 2010. But I am up against evolution and natural selection. All my new cancer cells have experienced those drugs before and it is not at all clear that they would respond a second time.

It's hard to find much good news here, but I am a master at seeing the silver lining in the clouds. I do have confidence in the CEA as a marker for the disease well in advance of radiological indication or physiological symptoms. That means we can at least track the responsiveness to treatments quite sensitively.

After our last discussions, my oncologist and I think the next step may be to try Capecitabine alone, to see if we can stabilise the disease for a while, to give Miang and me some time in the UK with the family. The triple cocktail can be kept in reserve for later use.

The future of cancer therapy is undoubtedly to be found in better understandings of the immune system, and how it can be assisted. My good friend Graham Legros, immunology expert and Director of the Malaghan Medical Research Institute, gave me a tutorial recently. One thing is clear. The immune system is immensely complex and its provocation may well produce beneficial effects. I am considering that, on the basis that I may be "n=1", worthless as medical evidence, but significant given my singular life.

More on that matter later no doubt.

Melbourne weekend

I am surrounded by sisters, Jeanine on my right and Mary, in the pink, on my left.

The occasion was Mary's 60th birthday, and we are in Melbourne, Mary's home. Jeanine, Miang and I travelled over for a few days to share in the celebration. It was a delightful weekend, with scores of friends turning up on the Sunday in a surprise party organised by Mary's husband Tom. But Mary's biggest surprise was the appearance on Saturday morning of Mary's daughter Rebecca, who had flow down from Brisbane to wish her Mum a happy birthday.

During our difficult times last year, these two sisters helped Miang and me immensely. I was so glad to be able to share this time with them.

Remote Rangitikei

On the weekend of 6 May, our friends Chris and Delwyn Clark introduced us to a new part of the North Island, the inland gorges of the Rangitikei river. The river, which rises in the central plateau mountains, cuts its way through papa (clay) country, deepening at a rate of about 4 mm per year. Over tens of thousands of years, the river has created deep gorges, in places 180 m below the surrounding bush and farmland. It is a superb trout fishing river.
Chris and Delwyn organised a weekend together at Tarata Lodge, a farmstead with outlying lodges, overlooking the gorge. The farm is accessed by driving about 22 kms inland from Utiku, just south of Taihape. The route takes you over "Gravity Canyon" the deepest bungy jump in the North Island.

This series of photos shows us on our 3 hour rafting trip down the gorge, and finally, the view from our lodge "River Retreat", topped off with Miang in the hot tub on our verandah.

It was an idyllic weekend, with walks on the farm inspecting the chickens, Llama, goats and rabbits, being entertained by Lodge host and possum-trapper extraordinaire, Steve, and with delicious meals in the farmhouse provided by Steve's wife Trudi.

Steve is full of wonderful tales of the bush and river. He is a "catch and release" fly fisherman who seems to know nearly every fish in the river. The hospitality of Steve and Trudi is really exceptional. Miang and I were so grateful to Chris and Delwyn for bringing us to this place.

If you want a break with a difference, and at extremely reasonable prices, check out Tarata Fishaway Lodge on the web. It is a gem.