Live web stream of Paul's funeral

For those of you who are overseas or unable to attend Paul's funeral, you will be able to view it on the web. Due to the large numbers expected at Paul’s funeral service tomorrow, VUW staff in Wellington are invited to attend a live web stream of the service in the Hunter Council Chamber, and members of the public are also welcome.The Hunter Lounge will also be screening the service for students.

The service begins at 1pm NZ time tomorrow. The web stream will be available from 12.30pm at http://www.r2.co.nz/20120328/

Funeral Arrangements

Paul's funeral will take place at Wesley Church, 75 Taranaki St, Wellington at 1pm on Wednesday 28th March. We look forward to welcoming you there.

As seating is limited, we recommend you get there early. There will be reserved seating at the front for immediate family, pallbearers and speakers.

Refreshments will be served after the service at Wesley Hall, next to the church.

There will be a private final committal for family at Lychgate Funeral Home, corner of Willis St and Aro St, at 4.30pm.

Paul Terence Callaghan 19 August 1947 - 24 March 2012

Paul passed away peacefully just before 9am today, Saturday 24th March. Miang, Chris, Mary and I were with him. It was just as he would have wished.

We are heart broken. But we are so pleased that we were able to be with him at the end. It was our final gift to him. He showed us how to die with courage, dignity and flair. It was his final gift to us.

We will post details of the funeral as soon as we are able.

(The beautiful painting of Paul was painted by Miang.)

Philosophy

(Typed by Catherine and drafted by Paul)

"Dear friends
I am so grateful to Catherine for her maintenance of my blog these last few weeks. We discussed whether I might say a few words, given that I am still lucid. Actually there is a reason for me, obviously first and foremost to thank you all. Your encouragement through the blogging and the many emails has been so sustaining and has made me so proud.
But there is also a serious matter which has been at the heart of the blog, and indeed to which I referred during my last entry, and that is the philosophical problem. Part of the response is the writing of letters to grandchildren and part is the chance to fully enjoy life with my immediate family. But there is a question " why stop fluids?", "is that a form of giving up?". No. This form of palliative care is the best possible when there is total loss of bowel function. In the four weeks in hospital, I could eat nothing, it was all vomited back. For the last two weeks I could drink nothing, it was all vomited back. During the last three weeks there was no bowel movement nor did I pass wind. So by about one week before the date of my release last week, it was the consistent opinion of the oncologists and palliative care team, that my bowel had stopped. At that point, I made the decision to stop fluids because it was best advice. Indeed it has allowed me to increase substantially my quality of life by allowing me new options. Yesterday I got the medical team to insert a NasoGastricTube to my stomach, never fun in the insertion, but once there very comfortable and enabling me to drink a full cup of tea, with all the delicious associations, just to have it immediately diverted to my drain, with no influence on the ongoing dehydration.
As a consequence all discomfort has gone. As weakness grows my sleep becomes deeper and for longer, and with good dreams. I am entirely without pain. I am surrounded by love and, while I am so sad to leave you all, and especially Miang with whom I only got to share 8 years (Ah but what years!) I am happy."

The photograph shows the elegant teapot and cups which Paul is drinking his tea from. We don't want to frighten you with any more photos of Paul!

Paul is now at the stage where he has decided he won't have any more visitors, apart from immediate family. We hope you understand.

St Patrick's Day

It has been a sunny and balmy St Patrick's Day here in Wellington. Paul has had a good day, again surrounded by family. His sister Mary is now out of hospital and spending time at his bedside, along with her husband Tom. Our cousin Kathryn Lindsay joined us for supper. And of course Miang, Chris and I are with Paul too.

Paul is now very dehydrated, thin and tired. Speaking is an effort. But he remains pain-free, he is lucid, calm and contented, and he still has his sense of humour. Tonight he told us he wanted to be part of our family gathering downstairs, so we brought our wee party to his bedroom upstairs. He then insisted on trying some of our gin & tonic - and he gently sipped 1 ml. After declaring it delicious, he insisted on sipping some of Tom's pilsen beer. He slowly drank a mighty 5 mls. He thought this was fine stuff indeed. He topped it off with a special treat of a few crushed ice cubes.

You can see him in this photo enjoying his beer, holding his hand-carved wooden rakau (a wonderful gift from his former graduate student Craig Rofe), and holding court as usual. He suggested that an appropriate caption for this photograph of our party could be: "This household is well-stocked with morphine."

This evening was special for us all and provided a moment of much-needed levity on a sad and difficult journey. But Paul is making the process easy for us - he is incredibly brave, he is at peace, and he remains fully in control of, and engaged in, the path ahead.

At Home

It is Catherine here again. Paul has now been discharged from hospital and is at home. He has his own hospital bed and is currently sitting in it looking out his bedroom window with views of Mt KauKau in the distance. He is comfortable, pain-free and very happy to be home.

The situation has changed over the last day or two. Paul's stomach and bowel have now shut down. He is unable to take fluids by mouth, and IV fluids have simply increased the fluid collecting in his stomach, which has caused a lot of vomiting in recent days. So Paul has decided that there will be no more fluids administered. This obviously means that Paul's time is now limited.

Chris has arrived from the UK. I have decided not to fly back to the UK tonight. Miang, Chris and I will help nurse Paul at home until the end. If you need to contact us, please call our home number (04) 977 9261.

Another update from Hospital (from Catherine)

Paul and Mary are still in hospital. Mary is still struggling to get over this nasty infection, but she is slowly on the mend. She has been able to visit Paul a couple of times, in a wheelchair, and she is very keen to get better soon so that she can help nurse Paul. Her husband Tom has been doing a great job of keeping her company and keeping our spirits up.

Paul's condition is relatively stable at the moment. He is still reasonably comfortable and pain free. He is still conversing at length with visitors and keeping up to date with current affairs. We are working towards him being discharged from hospital on Tuesday, and moving back home. A hospital bed is being delivered to his home on Monday, which should keep him comfortable. Paul's son (my brother) Chris is arriving from the UK on Monday morning and will be just in time to take on the role as chief nurse/medical adviser to Paul while Mary is still recovering.

Now that I know Chris is on his way, and Paul is comfortable with the path ahead, I am flying back to the UK on Tuesday. If you have any queries about Paul or want to visit him at home, please contact Miang.

Thank you again for your kind messages of support and I hope you will understand if I have not been able to respond yet.

Tuesday

It's Catherine here again. First of all, in relation to the C. Diff infection, Paul is showing no symptoms at all of this dreadful bug and the antibiotics have clearly got it under control in his case, although he remains in an isolation room and gloves and gowns remain necessary to visit him. Mary has been hit far harder by the bug, has not yet started to recover, and has been in an isolation room at the hospital now for 3 days. We have been very worried about her. Her husband Tom is flying out from Australia to be with her tomorrow. We are all hoping that she starts to turn the corner soon.

Turning now to Paul's condition generally, the last few days have seen some major changes and decisions. The palliative care team at the hospital have become involved in Paul's care and have made some modifications to his drug regime that seem to have been successful in getting his bowel symptoms and nausea under control. They have also raised the base level of pain management. He is now feeling more comfortable, and is currently pain free. He is lucid, able to hold conversations without difficulty, occasionally taps away on his laptop, and is in a calm and peaceful state of mind.

He has made some decisions about the route ahead. He has decided not to do a second round of chemo, the first round having had no apparent benefit. He is not going to start intravenous nutrition. He is aiming now to get the drug regime stabilised, and once we are confident that his care can be managed from home, the aim is to move him home some time next week so that he can begin the final journey. We all support his decisions and are grateful for the fantastic care he is receiving from the hospital staff.

It is a fluid situation and the picture will obviously change but that's where we are currently at.

Thanks again for all your messages of support.

Sunday

I have attached a photo of Paul's great friend Eiichi Fukushima and Paul's Magritek colleagues who were out for dinner on Saturday night in Cuba St. In the photo are Petrik Galvosas, Craig Eccles, Bertram Manz, Mark Hunter, Eiichi Fukushima and Andrew Coy. Miang took the photo and really enjoyed having an evening off. Paul was honoured and touched by Eiichi's visit to see him.

Sunday has been another difficult day. Unfortunately Paul's sister (my aunt) Mary has also been diagnosed with Clostridium difficile and was hospitalised this morning. She is being kept in isolation in another ward at Wellington Hospital. Today was spent shuttling between Paul's room and Mary's room to visit them both, having to put on gowns and gloves in each room. Jeanine, Paul's older sister, drove 7 hours today to be with Paul and Mary, and provide support to Miang and me. Ironically, Paul does not seem to be suffering any more symptoms of the infection, so it looks like the hospital caught it early in his case. Mary is devastated that she is not able to see Paul until she is clear of the infection, and of course we are all upset for her that she is so unwell.

We are managing ok and are pulling together as a family. Thank you again for all your messages and best wishes.

A difficult Saturday

Today has not been the easiest of days. Wellington (and most of the North Island) experienced a violent storm today, with wind and rain lashing the city. It is expected to pass overnight. Paul has managed to eat some clear broth and jelly today, without vomiting or nausea, which is positive. Unfortunately, he is continuing to experience unpleasant bowel cramps (for which IV drugs offer relief). In addition, he has had diarrhea over the past 24 hours or so. This caused the hospital staff to test him for infection. The bad news is that he was diagnosed this afternoon with Clostridium difficile which is an infectious bacteria often picked up in hospital. As a result, he has been moved into his own room and isolated from other patients. Any visitors will need to wear gloves and a gown to see him, and will need to be scrupulous about washing their hands before and after visits.

Dad has enjoyed visits from his brother Jim and overseas friend Eiichi Fukushima for the past two days, as well as the company of Miang, his sister Mary and of course myself. Given the onset of this infection, we do think it may be best for visits to be kept to a minimum for the next few days, to allow Dad time to recover his strength. We hope you understand. If you have any questions, please email Catherine on catherine.callaghan@me.com or call her on her NZ mobile 021 02556381.

Update from Hospital

It's Catherine here again. I have now arrived in Wellington and have spent the afternoon with Paul. Paul has been receiving IV chemotherapy for the past 3 days, with the aim of reducing tumour size to try to relieve the bowel obstructions. We are all hoping that this will provide some benefit. Paul is still requiring IV fluids. He is grateful for all the expressions of love and support which he has received from friends and colleagues around the world, but has limited energy at this time to respond to individual emails.

Now that I am here I will try to post updates every few days.