Insurance and banking.

Many years ago, my bank, the BNZ, suggested that I insure my car, my house and my personal effects with them. At the time, I declined, saying I liked banks to do banking and insurance companies to do insurance, and bakers to bake bread and airlines to fly aeroplanes. I deserted this moral high ground when I came to take out a new mortgage and the BNZ offered me favourable terms if I included insurance as well. Now supermarkets sell fuel, newspapers broadcast video on the internet, and corner dairies sell liquor. The world has moved on and so must I.

Wednesday week ago Miang and I attended the Institution of Professional Engineers black tie dinner. I had to make a speech and present a couple of awards. As the evening progressed the battery failed in my right ear hearing aid. I removed the hearing aid and put it in my trouser pocket. Later that evening, on returning home, I found that it was missing. One possibility was that in refueling the car at a central city service station on the way home, where I had removed my wallet near the pump, I may have dislodged the pocketed precious. We were too exhausted to search that evening, but by 8 am next morning we had returned to the service station forecourt. The picture shows what we found, right a squashed piece of high technology, worth around $3500 before a car had run over it, left the undamaged left ear device for comparison.

I rang Bay Audiology for a quote. Of course the original had carried a government subsidy and a special offer discount, no longer available. I was up for $4600. I had personal effects insurance, but had never listed or specified hearing aids on the policy. I was prepared to ask my insurer, but expected to be rebuffed. But this is New Zealand, where anything is possible.

I rang the Bank of New Zealand and within seconds was talking to Amy, who having confirmed that I really was "Paul" by my knowledge of Paul's birthdate, and the size of his fortnightly salary deposit, asked me sweetly. "How can I help you Paul?" I told her my sad tale. "Paul," said she, "it's so easy to lose hearing aids. Don't you worry. Of course we will be delighted to pay for a new one. $4600 sounds very reasonable. No problem at all Paul. And Paul. I want to tell you that there will be no excess to pay and your claim will cause no change to your future no claims bonus".

"Impossible. How can that be?" I asked. "That is because you are over 55" said this angel of banking insurance.

I was disarmed by the charming grace of this girl, and more particularly, the beneficence of her employer. "But Amy, I can hardly believe this. I think I must be in paradise to be dealing with a company like yours". "Paul," she asked "who supplies your hearing aid?" "Bay Audiology" I replied. "Oh" cooed Amy, "We deal with them all the time. Don't you worry Paul. I will send the claim number to them right now and they will contact you". "There is nothing more you need do."

"Amy", I said. "I am going to tell all my friends and family to insure with BNZ insurance!"

The next day I had a phone call. It was Tracey from Bay Audiology. She might have been Amy's sister. "Paul, how are you today?", she enquired, heartfelt sincerity in every syllable. "Your hearing aid has been ordered. And Paul, can you come in to have it fitted next Tuesday?".

I rest my case. New Zealand is a lunatic asylum of the most delightful kind. Of course in Dunedin, one expects familiarity and kindness bordering on the embarrassing. But this all happened in Wellington. Extraordinary. And, by the way. I think that banks can do insurance rather well.